Biting the hand that feeds you – wot so funee?

So far my wot so funee? posts have mainly featured Andrew, eldest brother of two. This week, a particular interaction between him and younger brother Joel made me laugh out loud, even though Andrew didn’t find it particularly funny. Like a nice and kind big brother, Andrew offered Joel a mini cheddar biscuit from his packet. That was cute. Then things got cuter when he even offered to put it into Joel’s mouth for him. However, the cuteness faded when Joel took a chunk out of not only the biscuit, but also Andrew’s finger! Talk about biting the hand that feeds you! Andrew looked at me, lip wobbling and said: “Joel bit me!” Luckily he didn’t actually cry, so it can’t have been that bad. But it was just the face that said it all – why?? If you stick your fingers in a 16 month old’s mouth, you won’t come out unscathed!

Moving on to a different kind of food – one you don’t have to bite: ice cream. We had this as a yummy treat for pudding the other day, and when asked which flavour he’d like out of vanilla or ginger (it was fancy stuff!), his reply was: “I’d like miller”. Once again Andrew demonstrating perfectly a phenomenon common to English-learning kids: picking up the stressed syllable (and the one after it) but not the preceding unstressed syllable – so he heard ‘nilla > miller.

Apart from ice cream, Andrew loves bananas. A taste he shares with Daddy but not me. He was eating one the other day, and Grandad thought he would be funny and call Andrew a monkey, joking at the fact that he was eating a banana. But this didn’t go down too well… “I’m not a monkey [sad face]….I’m a rocket!” See, it always has to come back to rockets. And there was us all thinking he was a boy.

I’m sure Andrew isn’t the only 3 year old who is easily pleased. There are several things in life that make him happy, and none of them or very expensive or complicated. For example, the other day when we were driving along, he randomly came out with: “Windy things make me happy!” After a little more probing, it turns out he was talking about windmills, probably the kind that we had on our balcony in bright colours. No idea where that came from!

Another thing that makes him happy is playing for endless hours in the garden – or the “ball garden” as he calls it (Granny and Grandad’s garden where we are currently living). One afternoon we were playing out there, and Andrew was waving a plastic golf club in the air. To try and encourage him to bring it down to a height that didn’t risk a disaster involving the club whacking Joel in the face, I took it off him and started to use it like a hockey stick to move a small ball along the grass…

Me: “Come on, let’s play hockey Andrew!”

Andrew: “No Mummy, don’t be silly, that’s not cocky, it’s golf!”

And to end on a similar note to where I began this post, we have another cute exchange between the brothers, overheard on the monitor one morning. Since the mornings have got lighter, we have reinstalled our lighting system – a cheaper version of a Gro-clock type thing, made from an ordinary lamp and a timer switch. When it’s off, it’s time to sleep, and when it comes on (at 7am), he is allowed to get up and go into Granny and Grandad’s room. But the thing is, there’s one rule for him, and one rule for little brother, who hasn’t understood the idea of the magic light and crescendos once he’s woken up until I go in and fish him out of their room. At about 6.30am I heard this: “No Joel, the light hasn’t come on yet, it’s not time to get up, we must sleep!” Nice try Andrew, I wish it was that easy to reason with your little brother.

Wot So Funee?

To the steering wheel shop – wot so funee?

In the past couple of weeks, Andrew has well and truly given up his afternoon nap. It wasn’t’ bad going at all to be still napping beyond his 3rd birthday, so I can’t complain, but it does mean that he is around in the afternoon. He is actually very happy to just play on his own for a while, and seems to like the time without Joel (who has at least some nap in the afternoon) to play with the toys that Joel isn’t allowed. However, it does mean he can also get into more mischief now that he’s roaming around downstairs rather than enclosed in his bedroom.

One afternoon last week, I suddenly became aware that I could hear some noises coming from the kitchen. Just as I was about to get up from the sofa and investigate, Andrew came in to the living room and said… “Look Mummy, I made myself some squash!” Wot so funee about that, you may ask? Well, I was sceptical that he’d managed to do that all on his own, so I asked to have a look. As I thought, he had poured neat squash into one of his drinks bottles and was drinking it undiluted from a straw. So I gently brought him back to the kitchen, where I saw the scene of devastation that was half a bottle of squash spilled all over the work surface and a pack of straws strewn across the floor. I had to admire his independence and determination to do it himself, but it took me a while to clear up!

Andrew is becoming very keen on pretend play, for example with the toy kitchen and making us cups of tea and cake, and also acting out role plays. I saw him sitting on the floor with arms out in front of him, brumming like a car. He caught my eye and the following conversation started…

A: “I’m in my car Mummy”

Me: “Ah I can see, where are you going Andrew?”

A: “To the steering wheel shop to buy a steering wheel”

Me: “Of course! That’s obviously what you buy from a steering wheel shop!”

I did wonder how he was driving the car in the first place, but I didn’t like to go down that route.

I’m used to being handed random blocks or bricks and having to play along with the fact that they are really cakes/biscuits/something else edible. Except I did this automatically the other day, and started to pretend I was eating a block of Duplo, thinking I was supposed to be treating it like a cake. But then I got told off…

A: “No it’s not an eaty marble, it’s a rolly marble!”

Me: “I can’t see any marbles Andrew?!”

A: “It’s a marble holder that, I just said, not a cake!”

Me: “Ah sorry I must have missed that!”

Now that we’re living with Granny and Grandad temporarily, they too have been experiencing quite a few funee moments first hand, and relaying them to me. Here’s a good one from the other morning when they were watching Cbeebies together and a cow called Buttercup came on screen…

Granny: “Buttercup – that’s a classic name for a cow.”

A: “I do like plastic names!”

I wrote a few weeks ago about Andrew using nouns that he knows as verbs – for example, to fork something (get it on his fork). This week he was playing in the garden with a ball, and came out with “I want to tennis it!” We presume he meant he wanted to serve it off the bat, or maybe just throw it.

And finally for this week, here’s another example of Andrew deliberately changing the words of a song for effect. He loves singing, and knows the words to quite a few songs (in French and German as well as English), but every now and then he likes to make his own words up to a song that I know he knows the real words to. This week we had: “All do the hocus pocus!” And I know full well that he’s known the words to the Hokey Cokey for a long time, since he sang it most weeks at the music group he and Daddy went to in Cambridge on Tuesday mornings.

Wot So Funee?

Heaven’s level crossing – wot so funee?

Recently Andrew has been getting more into drawing. He still won’t do it for very long at a time, but he will generally give it a go, mood permitting. And this week we have our very first funee on paper (as opposed to in speech), which is actually where the idea of the wot so funee linky started over at Actually Mummy’s blog. As usual, Andrew went out to his group at children’s church on Sunday, and came back with a picture that he had drawn and stuck, obviously with the help of the leaders. They had been talking about what Heaven will be like, and what will be there, and they made pictures on this theme. You can see Andrew’s here: smiley face, guitars, music, trees, hearts, flowers, rainbow, animals… and a purple splodge. When I asked him why this splodge was, he replied: “a level crossing”! You see in Andrew’s world, level crossings are amazing, so clearly if Heaven is amazing, it must contain level crossings. Good bit of toddler logic there. 

Heaven picture

Other than this, we’ve had the usual kind of funees too over the past 2 weeks (we had a break for Pancake Day last week and I wrote about our jar of change instead). After the plain pants incident a little while ago, I thought Andrew might be cottoning on to the meaning of ‘plain’ spelled like that. But not quite yet it seems. As we were walking into town last week, we saw some blue flashing lights and heard a siren coming towards us on the road. When it got nearer, I realised that it was an unmarked police car, and said “Look it’s a plain police car Andrew!” His response was classic: “Ahhhh, it’s going to the airport then!” Of course it is!

In many ways Andrew is like me, we share several personality traits. I find it hilarious when he says something that I have clearly said to him before, and it makes him seem even more like me. When I was shoving the ingredients for kedgeree in the slow cooker the other day, which isn’t a hard meal to prepare, he asked what I was doing, and when I gave my answer, his response was: “Wow, that’s impressive!” If you think so Andrew, that’s great, but I really don’t think it’s that hard. I know I often remark that something is impressive, and often with a sense of irony, so I presume he’s just following in my footsteps here. Another example from the bath the other day… he was getting annoyed that his toys kept slipping of the ledge that he was trying to rest them on at the side: “No, NO! I’ve told you several times, don’t fall off!!” I know I’ve said that to him, after he’s failed to listen to me despite several repetitions of whatever it was I was asking.

But I shouldn’t worry. I may get annoyed at his selective hearing, but he still thinks highly of me: “I like you Mummy…. you’re like Mummy Pig!” Thanks Andrew, I think I should take that as a compliment given how much you like Peppa and family, but being likened to a pig isn’t really what I strive for.

CrumpetAnd to finish with, we have a couple of cases of Andrew getting just one sound wrong in a word and it making for comedy moments. Last week we found some crumpets in the freezer, and ate some toasted for lunch. The next day when I asked what he’d like for lunch, he replied: “Crispy trumpets! I love crispy trumpets, they’re my favourite!”

When playing with his Tracy Island toy, of course one or more of the Thunderbirds always saves the day and rescues people in distress. One day this week Andrew told us that the rescued people were now “safe and sand”. Almost, but not quite.

Wot So Funee?

Wot so funee?: guest blogging

If you’re looking for this week’s round up of comic toddlerisms, you’re in the wrong place! But don’t worry, you can find it over on Actually Mummy’s blog – the home of the Wot so funee? linky. We received a kind invitation to write a guest post for them this week, and as there has been the usual abundance of toddler comedy chez nous, I was happy to take up the offer. So take a look over there to get your fix of funees. See you back here soon!

Rocket’s the word – wot so funee?

If you haven’t seen Andrew for a while or haven’t read my recent post on his birthday cake, you may be forgiven for not knowing about his obsession with rockets, more specifically Thunderbirds rockets. And that’s where we start this week’s wot so funee? post, with two examples of his rocket obsession coming out in speech.

One evening we were sitting down to tea, and it was one of his favourites on the table – swirly pasta shapes and bolognese sauce. As if we needed reminding, Andrew exclaimed: “I do like pasta…” followed immediately by “…and I do like rockets!” Of course you do, but what made you think of rockets when pasta was in front of you?! I guess the connection in his mind was the fact that they are both something that he really does like. This brings me to another interesting observation from his speech right now: to emphasise that he likes something, he often says “I do like”, and this sometimes sounds like “I don’t like” if he says it quickly, which can be very confusing.

One of his birthday presents was a bin lorry toy. He really took to this and has played with it a lot since unwrapping it, especially when we ripped up bits of paper and card to act as his ‘rubbish’ to be collected in the bin, which attaches to the back hatch so you can tip it into the lorry, just like a real life one works. Just after he unwrapped it on the evening of his birthday, it was time for tea, so we said he could take it up to the table as a special treat (toys don’t normally accompany us at the dinner table). When it came to pudding, his Thunderbird 3 rocket cake was of course on offer. When he had a slice on his plate, he started to try and put a piece in the toy bin on the lorry, at which point I said: “That cake’s not rubbish!” His rather witty come back was: “No, it’s a rocket!” Very true! And any excuse to get the word rocket into conversation.

We had lots of fun over his birthday weekend, and with both sets of grandparents in the same house Andrew was in his element entertaining them. The toy cash till and food that you ‘cut’ with a knife (because it’s cleverly held together with velcro) which Grandma and Pop bought him went down very well, and he was keen to get people visiting his shop to purchase extortionately-priced grocery items. On the morning after they left and he realised that there were fewer people to visit his shop, he looked rather forlorn, sighed and said: “I’d like Grandma and Pop to live at Granny and Grandad’s house!” Now that would be a house full for longer than a weekend.

No 3 year old’s birthday is complete without a birthday badge, and he was lucky enough to get one with Thomas the Tank Engine on. But of course these days they don’t have pins like back in the 80s when we were 3 and we seemed to have survived unscathed. Andrew was most concerned that it didn’t look very secure clipped on to his t-shirt with its delicate little plastic clip: “Mummy, my birthday badge might blow off in the sky”. Yes you’re right, whatever happened to a good old fashioned safety pin? Health and safety gone mad.

I think that’s all the birthday-related funees over with, so moving on… Both boys love a good plate of beans on toast for lunch, as do I. But one day this week when I put a plate of it in front of Andrew, he looked disappointed, turned to Joel and ‘whispered’ (i.e. not very quietly): “Look it’s beans on toast Joel, but I asked for beans on beans!” Erm, I don’t think you did actually, but if that’s what you want then it can be easily rectified. I tried to take the toast away but he didn’t like that, so I left it. Joel was most confused as to what was going on!

I’ve written before about the little backseat driver that Andrew can be at times. Recently I’ve been using the sat nav quite a bit because we’re living somewhere that I don’t know too well yet. I’m finding that the backseat driver is also a backseat parrot, who will copy word for word what Mrs Sat Nav says at every turn. Except if she mentions a ‘roundabout’ – then it’s a “round and round about”, just as it has been for quite some time in Andrew’s world.

Another funee that appeared from the back of the car – not mine but Grandad’s car – was one that was passed on to me for writing up. Andrew was travelling with Grandad to go and pick Great Grandma up. He’d been allowed to take Grandad’s Thunderbird 2 toy with him in the back, despite fears that he might drop it. Unfortunately he did let it slip at one point, but before disaster struck, he managed to stop it falling onto the floor under his seat: “I’ve caught it, I’ve caught it!…..I’m very good at caughting!” Linguistically this is very interesting. He’s grasped that ‘caught’ is what you say instead of ‘catched’, which is what we were getting until recently, but then couldn’t quite figure out in that instance that the bit you need to put before ‘-ing’ is actually ‘catch’. It’s all too confusing this English with all its irregularities, I’m amazed that anyone ever figures it out, but I know I must have once upon a time when I can’t remember.

But for all his logical mistakes with irregularities, he’s actually very good at manipulating language how he wants it to be and to what makes sense to him. One phrase that he likes using is “it’s/I’m a bit [adjective]”. Sometimes this is completely normal and adult-like, but other times he comes out with some hilarious made-up ‘adjectives’: “It’s a bit necky”– referring to one of those u-shaped cushions you put round your next for travelling; “I’m a bit finishy” – referring to when he had eaten enough tea and didn’t want to eat up what was left on his plate. He also likes changing sounds in words to make other words, for example “one, two, knuckle my shoe” came out the other day even though he’s been enjoying singing this with “buckle” for a while (mainly because he finds the last line hilarious – nine, ten, a big fat hen!)

To finish this week’s round up of toddlerisms we have a bilingual incident. We were looking through one of his new French for kids books and had got to the page on clothes. We’d been through the list – I’d said each word in French and got him to point to the item in the picture, then he had a go at saying some words that he wanted to. It got interesting when we got to pyjamas: “Shmamas”. I suspect this is because we’d just done ‘chapeau’ (hat) and ‘chemise’ (shirt), both of which start with the sound ‘sh’, so why not start every word on the page with ‘sh’?!

Wot So Funee?

Three soft plays – wot so funee?

With the Christmas holidays and moving house, writing about hilarious toddlerisms has slipped to the back of my mind. That’s not to say that Andrew hasn’t been coming up with them – if anything they come thicker and faster every day. Here’s a selection of the ones I remembered to write down…

For about a week before Christmas, Andrew got very into watching the film Snow Buddies. If you haven’t had the pleasure of viewing this, it’s a typical kids film – totally unbelievable and twee but quite cute and teaches a good ‘moral of the story’. At one point some puppies in a freight container fall out of an aeroplane and a parachute opens up to ensure they land safely. I know, I told you it was unbelievable! Andrew got very excited about this and jumped up and down shouting “Look, there’s a tent on that box, a bit like a hot air balloon, that’s funny..hahaha!” I can see his logic, it did look tent-ish, probably more like a tent than a parachute! The props department may well gave been on a tight budget.

Recently he’s become interested in what we’re going to eat for our next meal. I usually have some idea, even if I make up the exact dish as I go along when it comes to cooking. One evening, I was planning a cottage pie (well actually a poultryman’s pie as I use turkey mince), so I told him that when the inevitable question arose.

A: What we gunna have for tea?

Me: cottage pie

A: sausage pie?

Me: no, cottage pie

A: pottage pie?… is that like shepherd’s pie?

Me: no, COTTage pie, but it is like shepherds pie, that’s right!

A: ah…. like a house?

Me: yes, I see the link in your mind!

Our old flat wasn’t exactly well endowed with internet connectivity. It’s a long story, but even Virgin wouldn’t dig up our road, despite being in the middle of built-up Cambridge. We call it ‘narrowband’, you get the point. So often when watching youtube, particularly in the evening before tea, the connection would fail and we’d get lots of stop starting (or just stopping most of the time). I would explain to Andrew that our internet wasn’t working and we’d have to try again later or watch a DVD, which I knew would be a much more pleasurable viewing experience. One day, however, when he was watching a DVD, the picture started to jump, probably due to grubby fingerprints on the disc (can’t think how they got there!) So he exclaimed: “our internets are not working!”, to which my response was to try and explain that he was in fact watching a DVD. A quick wipe of the disc and all was right again – Andrew’s reaction: “Yay, our internets are working!” This isn’t the only example in his speech which shows that he thinks “internets” is a plural. I find this interesting; it’s like he’s heard “internet’s” a lot (as in “our internet’s not working” or “our internet’s gone wrong”), and reasoned that this ’s’ on the end means it’s a plural. That’s all I can think of right now at least.

Another (more fathomable) piece of toddler reasoning came in the form of his name for a pine wreath on a friend’s front door at Christmas: “Mummy look, it’s a Christmas circle!” Can’t argue with that – it looked like bits of Christmas tree made into a circle shape.

I love a bit of regional variation in language. My favourite example, having grown up in Coventry, is the bread roll – there are so many different words for this, depending on where you grew up, and only in Coventry is it a ‘batch’. Despite living here for a few weeks before our move to Birmingham (where the bread roll is a ‘cob’), I still haven’t heard Andrew say ‘batch’. But I wouldn’t be surprised if he does before we move, he’s like a linguistic sponge at the moment. Anyway, my point about Andrew here was his funny moment involving a fairy cake (as I would call it) or ‘bun’ as Daddy’s family, who live in Devon, call it. He was playing tea parties with Grandma, who asked if he’d like a bun with his cup of tea. His reply: “yes please, I’d like a bum with my cuppa tea!” Bit of a bum deal to get one of those with your tea time beverage if you ask me! To be fair though, I don’t think he’s heard them called ‘buns’ very often, at least not since he’s been able to talk back, as Daddy has accommodated to my word and we just call them (little or fairy) cakes.

On Christmas day, of course it was Andrew who liked playing with Joel’s new toy kitchen the most, and Joel who liked playing with Andrew’s new easel the most – this is one inevitable fact about similar aged siblings. Andrew’s attempt to coerce us into buying him one was thus:

“When I’m 8, I can have a rainbow…

When I’m 9, I can have a football…

When I’m 10, I can have a little cooker like Joel’s!”

If he’s willing to wait that long, I’m happy – he’ll no doubt go off the idea when he hits double figures. I too have no idea where the rainbow bit came from!

Soft play

And finally, one from the past week. We’ve found a fantastic soft play at a garden centre, and on Monday mornings parents/carers and toddlers can go for free as part of a scheme to help get them out of the house and meet others in the same situation. This was what I was talking with Granny about after she discovered it online, and as Andrew was there, we told him we would go to free soft play one day soon. Later, when I asked him what he wanted to do the next day, he requested: “I’d like to go to three soft plays” Wot so funee?

 

Wot So Funee?

Slow leopards and sunrise – wot so funee?

Well the official ‘wot so funee?’ linky is now closed for Christmas, but as we’ve already had quite a few funny moments in the past 2 weeks since it was last running, I thought I’d write one more post myself before Christmas.

First of all, Andrew was fascinated by the toy that Joel got from Father Christmas when we saw him on our train ride at Audley End. He asked what it was, and we told him – a snow leopard. Then later in the day he found the stuffed creature on the floor at home after Joel had discarded it temporarily. “It’s a sleper [pronounced as in leper], look!” I explained again that it was a snow leopard – a leopard that is white and grey instead of the more yellowy/browny colours of an ordinary leopard. He seemed to take it in. Until he picked it up again the next day and insisted that it was a “slow leopard”. I tried to explain that leopards are anything but slow, and I think he’s now got it.

Andrew is now very keen to tell people what they are or are doing, for example their age (if he knows it), whether they are a boy or girl, or if they are holding a ball/ cooking dinner/ driving down the road etc. This week Daddy and Joel have had some good descriptions…

“Joel, you’re a toggler, cos you’re number 1 now!” Ever since his birthday, Andrew keeps reminding us that Joel is 1 (or “number 1” to be precise), and I thought it was cute that he’s picked up on the fact that we call him a toddler now, not a baby.

“Daddy, you’re a pink dot!” This one needs a bit of explaining. Since Tom and I got cast off iPhones from family members who kindly gave them to us (we couldn’t afford them ourselves!), we’ve been able to see where the other one is using the ‘find my friends’ app. It may seem a little stalker-ish, but we only use it for family and it’s really handy to see where each other are, for example if we’re meeting up or if we’re delayed in getting home any time. The location of people in the app is marked by a pink dot, and Andrew has seen this as I have explained what I’m looking at when Daddy is a little late home and I want to see where he is.

Now that Joel is a toddler, toddling around is what he loves best. He’s generally good at walking, but he’s still a bit wobbly when it comes to obstacles and when he tries to run! So we get the inevitable bumps and knocks, which most of the time don’t bother him, until he’s tired and it’s the end of the world. Andrew is keen to point out when Joel has had a bump, and most often says “Joel hurt myself”. I find this interesting – he hasn’t quite got the hang of these reflexive pronouns. He knows that it’s right to say “I hurt myself” when it happens to him, but he hasn’t quite picked up on the difference between that and when Joel has hurt himself. Also interesting is that Andrew will say “Joel hurt myself” when he really means “Joel hurt me”, for example if Joel has accidentally thrown a toy at him or pulled his hair.

In my attempts to clear out the kitchen cupboards before we leave, I’ve been trying to use up all the food that we have, like tins, packets and frozen food. I found a bag of popping corn at the back of the cupboard which I’d forgotten I’d bought ages ago to make it up for snacks for us. So I made some every other day or so for a week or two and we took it out for snacks. When it was all gone, Andrew asked one evening whether we could make some more popcorn. I replied that there was none left, that we’d eaten it all. His reply was: “Oh…..well how about some sweetcorn?” I know he likes sweetcorn, but I wasn’t sure that he’d want to eat it on its own as a snack!

clay jar
God’s got one of these…. apparently!

In all the packing, I came across some vases that we haven’t had out for a while because they are a liability with two small children around, especially as they like to climb. Andrew was ‘helping’ me wrap some up in packing paper, and when he saw a blue pottery one, he declared that “God’s got one of these!” Looking at it again, and talking with Tom about it, we suggested between us that it could be because there is a picture of a jar like this in one of the stories in his Bible, or it might even be one that he’s read in his Sunday group at church. It’s amazing what kids can remember out of all the stuff they come across in daily life.

And finally, one day this week, as we were sitting having breakfast as as family like usual, we watched the sunrise to of the window. It was a lovely sunrise, with lots of beautiful colours. We had our own running commentary provided by Andrew:

“The clouds are all pink!…. That’s funny…. The white ones are all gone….There’s no white ones left like on Teletubbies…..Now it’s getting orangier…..Now it’s getting yellowier!…..That’s pretty”

Bathtime fun – wot so funee?

I was just thinking, it’s hard to imagine a time when Andrew won’t come out with hilarious snippets of speech, but I hope that by that time his little brother will be supplying us with some linguistic comedy too.

First up this week are a couple of observations he made when I was getting the Advent calendar ‘line of socks’ out of the Christmas decorations box. This year we have decided not to put any decorations up because we’re trying to pack things up ready to move house and the last thing we need is more stuff to pack away last minute. There will be plenty of decorations at Grandma and Pop’s house for Christmas, and at Granny and Grandad’s house for new year, so we won’t miss out completely. I did suggest putting some tinsel on the large stacks of cardboard boxes that fill every space possible at the moment, just to liven them up, but the boys didn’t seem bothered. As Andrew hauled some pieces of tinsel out of the decorations box, asking what it was, he declared that “this is very snaky, all glittery snaky”. He also came across some long and thin glittery tree decorations (a bit like baubles but that suggests spherical in shape). Without even asking me what these were like he did for the tinsel, he decided that they were “little golden pens” – good description really. He then walked around with them, pulling one or two out at a time and pretending to write with them, until he shoved one back in the box and they all came crashing out the other end, leaving a glittery mess on the floor. At which point Joel came over to see what all the fuss was about, and started spreading glitter left, right and centre. They thought it was hilarious! I didn’t quite find it so funny…

IMG 0115

With the recent fairly dreary weather, Andrew has become quite fascinated with the clouds. After I explained a few weeks ago that it’s actually the clouds that are moving rather than the sky when he looks up there, he’s shown that he now understand this: “the clouds are moving Mummy”…Yes that’s right, they are, I replied….“the clouds are moving to Birmingham!” Hmm, maybe he hasn’t quite understood the concept of ‘moving’ in terms of moving house, it is quite a big concept for a 2 year old to be fair.

I took the protective case off my phone the other day because Joel had dribbled all over it (good job I had a cover on it!) I’d left it on a shelf to dry more once I’d wiped it over, and must have forgotten about it. That is until Andrew asked me if I wanted “these bits of phone” – until I looked around and saw that he was holding the case, I thought there had been some terrible accident and my phone was in bits, phew!

Now for a couple of funee moments targeted at Daddy. We were sitting at the dinner table as usual one evening, and Andrew was sitting across from Daddy, looking right at him. After a while he piped up with: “are those your belly buttons Daddy?” Tom looked down, saw that he was wearing a shirt with buttons, and replied asking him if he meant the shirt buttons, and it turns out that he did. I’m sure all of us only have one belly button, but I think they’ve been talking about it in the bath recently.

And the piece de resistance of funees this week is more of an incident than linguistic comedy. Andrew was standing in the bath with the water running to fill it up (he likes to get in right from the start when the water starts running), and Daddy was in the bathroom but not looking at him, sorting Joel out to go in the bath. After a while when Daddy looked up, he was handed a cup of liquid, which he thought was bath water to begin with, until he took a closer look…. and discovered that is was a distinct greeny yellow colour. Yes, if you hadn’t guessed it, Andrew had grabbed one of the beakers that they play with in the bath, weed into it whilst standing up, and then thought to hand it out of the bath. To be fair, as Daddy pointed out, this was actually quite ingenious of him, and far better than weeing in the bath itself, though he had insisted not long before that he didn’t need to go on the toilet, which would have been the best place for it! Wot so funee?! Quite clever really.

Wot So Funee?

I DO like… – wot so funee?

As usual, this is the week’s round up of comedy moments brought about by toddler language. I love writing these posts, they always make me laugh remembering the moments that I noted down in the week…

Although Andrew is generally a good eater and will try most things, he has recently decided that certain vegetables are no-go. He can usually be persuaded to have a mouthful, which is all we ask if he really insists he doesn’t like it, if we say that he can’t have pudding if he doesn’t at least try it (and by pudding we mean fruit and yoghurt, which he loves). This week saw a new tactic in him trying to get out of veg consumption: when asked if he could eat some cauliflower (we he had actually chosen in the shop as we’d run out of veg in the box), his reply was “I can’t eat my cauliflower, it’s too dangerous!” Gotta watch those crazy cauliflowers, they might jump up from the plate and whack you round the head or something!

Every now and then he likes to pinch a bit of Daddy’s toast in the morning. Having asked for it one day, he left it on the table and got down. When I asked him a few minutes later if he wanted it because he’d asked for it, he replied: “No thank you, I don’t NEED toast right now”. OK then, we didn’t force you to have it in the first place!

I do love a good bit of toddler logic. As he’s grown out his 2-3 years clothes, he’s now got a 3-4 years wardrobe (or at least plenty of tops, trousers he gets by but could do with a few more). However, some of the trousers are a little long for him still, so we usually roll them up a bit to stop them dragging on the floor. I have been known to forget this, or at least not do it the immediate second that he’s got them on – he wants most things done yesterday. His reaction has been to shout: “Roll my sleeves up, roll my sleeves up!” (sometimes with a please attached on the end). When I’ve investigated further, knowing that his sleeves are fine, it’s become clear that he means his “trouser sleeves, Mummy”. Ah of course, trouser sleeves, it makes sense.

We’ve been doing a lot of packing recently for the big move. Mostly when the boys are out with one of us or asleep, but Daddy was sorting his CDs out at the weekend, which is a big job so it ran over after Andrew’s nap. He came out of his room, just opposite the CD rack, and picked up a CD – the March of the Penguin soundtrack. He studied it for a moment, and then asked: “Is this Pingu?” Not sure that Pingu is an Emperor Penguin like on the cover, but not far off I guess.

And finally, his latest favourite little phrase is: “I DO like [X]!” There’s a real emphasis on the DO, usually said i an excited manner because I’ve said that we’re going to do something involving the thing he likes, for example, eat pasta, go to the park, listen to a CD, ride in the car etc. One example that was really cute this week was when I told him we were going to church for one of our regular midweek groups there: “I do like church, it’s where all my friends are!” I’m glad that he enjoys going, as we do spend quite a bit of time there each week. And it’s lovely to hear that he thinks of other children as friends, as that’s not something he’s mentioned very much.

Wot So Funee?

Back seat driver – wot so funee?

This week’s latest craze in Andrew’s interest is the moon. There have been a few nights recently when the moon was shining brightly and easily visible in a cloudless sky before his bedtime. When he’s had a bath and is helping tidy his toys away, he’s keen to look out the window and see if he can see it. And he gets very excited if he can: “Look Mummy, it’s the moon, look Daddy it’s the moon!” *does a little happy dance whilst shouting*. One evening, he told me, after the excited shouts and happy dance, that “we get the moon out at bedtime”. So cute 🙂 I didn’t quite say that on previous evenings – more like “the moon comes out at bedtime” – but he’s not far off.

One evening this week I’d decided that we would have fajitas for tea. So when we popped into the shops on the way home from some errands, I told Andrew when he asked what I was putting in the basket that the sachet was fajita seasoning (I say fajita with a ‘ch’ sound similar to that in Scottish ‘loch’, not a ‘dj’ sound as in the anglicised version – this is important later…) That teatime, as Andrew was helping me cook as usual, he asked me if we were going to use the “heater seasoning” (said with a ‘ch’ sound at the start). Yes sous chef, that’s right, we need to add it after frying the veg off for a little while.

There are many buskers in Cambridge city centre, and, as Daddy the musician often points out, they are generally of a pretty high calibre. When we were sat listening to one the other day because we were a little early for our group to start, Andrew pointed out that: “he’s got no talker!” After quizzing him a little on what a talker is, it became clear that he meant “microphone”! A pretty good description though, very logical.

He’s very good at letting me know when I’ve made a mistake (or so he thinks) these days. We were reading a farm book one afternoon, and as he pointed to the picture of a small pig, I read out the word that was written below it: piglet. But apparently I was wrong: “No mummy, that’s not piglet, that’s just a pig… piglet’s on Winnie [the] Pooh!” I sat corrected.

And finally, the story alluded to in the title of this post… We don’t use the car that much in Cambridge, but yesterday we had quite a few places to go including picking up some boxes to pack for our house move. Bear in mind that in Cambridge, you’re lucky if you get into third gear with all the traffic and junctions. As we drove round the ring road, probably the fastest I’d got to all afternoon – about 26 miles per hour – Andrew hailed from the back seat: “This car’s going too fast!! Slow down Mummy, slow down!!” I informed him that I was well within the speed limit and there were few cars on the road in front of me or anywhere near us at that point. Back seat drivers start at 2 and 3/4 years old it seems.

Wot So Funee?