Brummie fun – wot so funee?

Another week has flown by and another week of hilarity in the toddler/preschooler language department it’s been. Apparently Andrew is quite the expert at various activities/ subject matters these days: “No Mummy, Joel’s not the expert, I’M quite a bit of an expert at Peppa Pig!” Oh yes sorry of course you are! He’s also our resident sliding down the slide in funny positions expert, eating ice cream expert, throwing frisbees expert and many more experts, all by his own admission.

So whilst he is an expert at all these things, I, apparently, lack the expertise that it takes to give him and Joel a bath. One day last week, Daddy was late home from work because the trains were delayed. This hasn’t often happened since he started commuting that distance, but as it’s him who does the bath time normally, we missed him that night. As we were heading up stairs and I was explaining that Daddy wasn’t going to be here for bath, Andrew looked most upset and said: “I don’t want a bath with you mummy, you’re not very clever at baths!” So I may have a PhD but running a bath, washing them and playing with them is beyond me. Thanks!

Since Andrew gave up his nap a few months ago, we’ve been encouraging him to still have a rest and just sit quietly for an hour or so because he really gets very tired by tea time otherwise – but that’s easier said than done when you’re a wriggly 3 year old! He’s got quite into watching a DVD, which seems to be the best way to keep him still, though he still flits off and plays with other things every now and then whilst watching. Until Granny bought a couple more DVDs the other day, Shrek 2 seemed to be the only one he wanted to watch, and after watching it quite a few times, he started to pick up some of the lines and anticipate them whilst watching it, which is really quite funny to listen to. I had to laugh when he told me what was happening: “Prince Charlie is riding a horse, look Mummy!” Ah, that would be Prince Charming 🙂

A routine that the boys have become used to now is going in to Granny and Grandad’s room for half an hour or so in the morning whilst they get up and ready for work. The TV is often on, and one programme that they have all got into is Q Pootle 5. I haven’t watched much of it myself, but what I have watched is definitely on 2 levels: the kids see funny space aliens being silly, and the adults understand jokes and references on a whole other level. All the aliens have various regional British accents, as you might expect (?!), and the favourite in our house of course has to be Eddie the Brummie. In one particular episode he comes out with an absolute classic sentence for highlighting his Brummie accent: ‘Look at the state of that bunting!’ (just what you’d expect an alien to be saying isn’t it?!!) So we’ve been joking about this ever since they first saw it, especially when I made some bunting the other day for my sewing business. Stay with me, this isn’t the funniest bit yet, it’s just a long preamble to explain where the next bit comes from. We’ve been going to a few groups over in Birmingham and Solihull – nappy and sling meets mainly – to try and get to know people over there. Last week was the first glimpse that I had of Andrew recognising that many of the children we’ve met over there have accents different from his own. He was playing alongside a boy a little younger than him, and after a while came up to me and said very softly: “That girl is talking like bunting….like Eddie.” I tried not to laugh, (a) because actually I was quite amazed that he’d picked that up and could express it to me, and (b) because the girl was actually a boy with long hair. He’s still not figured that one out, despite me giving him the example several times that Uncle Pete has long hair and he’s a boy. I tried to suggest quietly that actually ‘she’ was a boy, but that was met with a our and indignant: “No it isn’t, it’s a girl!!” I think his mum may have overheard that one, whoops! I suspect that the boys will grow up with some degree of Brummie accent, so he’ll get used to it.

And now to finish off, we turn from Birmingham to a couple of references to the boys’ city of birth – Cambridge. When we were in town the other day, a lady shouted across to someone she knew standing not far from us: ‘Andrew!’ Of course my Andrew immediately said “Yes?”, and I then explained to him that she wasn’t talking to him but that there was another Andrew near us. His response was: “Ah there’s 2 Andrews…. no there’s 3 Andrews, there’s fireman Andrew in Cambridge as well!” This was something he remembers from quite a while ago, when he went out with Daddy one saturday morning and they got to see inside a fire engine which was stationed at some event somewhere, manned by a fireman called Andrew, which he didn’t quite get at the time when Daddy tried to explain!

One evening this week when the boys were having a bath, Andrew asked Daddy where the ‘pink water’ was. Daddy looked puzzled and asked him what he was talking about, so he explained a little more and Daddy then understood that he was talking about an old flannel that we used to have quite a while ago that was a deep red colour but when you put it in water it made the water go pink, which Andrew used to love in the bath. We don’t know what made him suddenly think of it again recently. Daddy explained that this flannel was from a long time ago when we lived in our old flat in Cambridge. Andrew pondered for a few seconds and then came out with: “Where is Cambridge now Daddy?” He had to laugh, and tell him that Cambridge is still in the same place that it’s always been, it’s just us that’s moved away. I still wonder if he thinks we’re just on one long holiday at Granny and Grandad’s house!

Wot So Funee?

The ducks don’t work – wot so funee?

We’ve had a bit of a break from wot so funee? posts over Easter and then last week when all I blogged about nappies for Resuable Nappy Week. As I’m getting back to normal on the blog this week, it seems only right to write up the best of the funees from the past few weeks.

I’ve written before about thhe fact that Andrew says yesterday for anything in the past and tomorrow for anything in the future. Fair enough, he’s a bit young still to be understanding the concept of weeks, months etc. But recently he’s had a thing about saying “this year”, which I think is related to when we explain to him that this year he is 3, but next year he will be 4. So we’ve had: “It’s quite a sunny day this year” and “I want Granny and Grandad to come home this year” – I presume he’s just thinking logically that it must mean ’now’, from when we say it, though he does know ’today’ and mainly uses that but ’this year’ creeps in too.

We quite often go to the local park on bin day, which, apart from being a pain to get the buggy through the gap between wheelie bins and garden fences on the pavement, means we get a running commentary on what the bins are like from our little chatterbox. He has quite rightly noticed that some are smaller than others on one particular road that we walk along – “Those are children bins and those are grown-up bins!” Yes that’s right Andrew, a whole family of bins line up on this street every Monday morning!

When we were on holiday with his four grandparents, Andrew was keen to do lots of activities with them. This included wanting to take some pictures with Grandad’s camera. As Grandad knelt down to take a photo of a pretty flower in the park, Andrew asked “Can I have a do?” No that isn’t a typo – he asked for a do rather than a go. Which to be fair to him, makes total sense, because taking photos is something that we ‘do’ rather than ‘go’ anywhere with. He hasn’t quite grasped the phrase ‘to have a go’, where ‘go’ is a noun not a verb like he’s used to.

Having studied several other languages, I’ve often thought that I’m glad I learned English natively as a child – it’s just so full of irregularities and peculiarities! We take it for granted as adult speakers of a language that we know these, but they can be really confusing to a learner, whether child or adult. One of these irregularities Andrew demonstrated perfectly when we were feeding the ducks and other birdlife down at the shores of Derwent Water on holiday…

Adult (I can’t remember who exactly): Look there are geese and ducks here Andrew.

Andrew: Aha!

A few minutes later….

Me: Watch that goose! Don’t go too close to him, he looks nasty!

Andrew: It’s not a goose, it’s a geese!

Me: I know, that’s so confusing!

And I proceeded to try and explain that it was one goose and two/three/more geese. Stupid English!

Then there was the time on another day of our holiday that he toddled off with Grandad to go and feed the ducks some duck food that we’d bought earlier in the week. We were between Rydal Water and Grasmere next to a small river that had a few ducks hanging around on it. But when they came back, Andrew was most disappointed because the ducks there didn’t want any of his special food: “the ducks don’t work here!” I mean come on, what were they playing at? Surely any self-respecting duck would want to eat some food wielded by an enthusiastic 3 year old, wouldn’t they?

As I’ve written before, no wot so funee? post would be complete without a foodie funee or two. Both boys would probably say that pasta is their favourite food. Joel can’t talk yet, though he’s very into signing at the moment, but the non-verbal cues that he gives me are very clear, i.e. shove it in fistfuls at a time until his cheeks are stuffed like a hamster and he can’t chew it down fast enough! I whipped up a quick pasta and cheese dish one lunchtime, like I often do (to call it a ‘dish’ is a little OTT, it’s just pasta mixed with grated cheese until it melts). Andrew was very impressed with what I served up in front of him, and when he tried to pick some up with his fork, a big clump of pasta came up with the fork: “Look, the pasta is cheesing together!” I thought that was quite an ingenious way of describing it actually.

Andrew has been a bit fussy with fruit and veg recently, though he did eat 4 pears today – he has a bit of a thing about this fruit, he gets his 5 a day, it’s just almost all pear! But I’m trying to be persistent with raisins on his breakfast cereal, which he used to always have until he got fussy with it a few weeks ago. So I asked the usual one morning…

Me: Would you like some raisins Andrew?

Andrew: No, I don’t like the dead ones!

Right…. wot so funee about that?

Wot So Funee?

Don’t get Thunderbirds wrong! – wot so funee?

As I sit and start to type this post, it’s pouring with rain outside. To be fair, it hasn’t been too rainy recently, but it’s making up for it today. This seems a good point to start with a funee moment from when the boys were at the park with Daddy at the weekend. Andrew was standing on the ground and Joel was just above him on the climbing frame, looking down. Andrew looked up to the sky and said: “Is it raining Daddy?” And Daddy’s (honest) reply was: “No Andrew, it’s just Joel dribbling on your head!” This is quite normal for Joel – copious amounts of dribble are often seen escaping from his mouth, hence the need for mummy-made super absorbent dribble bibs.

As usual, we’ve been spending quite a bit of time in the garden this past week, especially when I was ill and it was the easiest thing to entertain the boys with, simply by opening the door and letting them run off steam without too much effort from me. Andrew is very into the game pictured here, though this was taken after Joel had knocked it down and put golf balls in some of the holes – little brothers can be SO annoying! Andrew has heard us say the name of the game quite a bit, but the other day he asked if we could play it before I mentioned any names…

Andrew: “Can we play forget 4 please?”

Me: “Forget 4??”

Andrew: “No wait…. cadet 4?”

Me: “Ah I think you mean CONNECT 4 Andrew!” 🙂

IMG 1785

The trees are starting to be colourful again, so we’ve been talking about spring and what this means in terms of tree life cycles. Granny and Grandad’s garden has a lovely (except when it sheds all its petals in one go) magnolia tree, which is currently making the lawn look like it’s been hit by a freak snow storm. To try and cheer me up when I was ill, Andrew came up to me and kindly offered me a petal: “Look, here’s a blossom for you Mummy! There’s lots of blossoms here.” Aw, cute that he thinks one petal is one blossom rather than blossom being the collective noun.

No wot so funee? post from me would be complete without a foodie funee (or several). Andrew often asks what’s for tea these days, and I get met with various reactions depending on my answer. Here’s what happened one day this week…

Andrew: “What we having for tea?”

Me: “Casserole Andrew.”

Andrew: “Oh…… Hmm…. I do like roll!” *moves hand around in a gesture the shape of a swiss roll* (I wish I’d got a video of the hand bit – that really made the funee at the time!)

There’s been a new cereal in the cupboard this week – ‘Copters’ by Kelloggs Coco Pops. Andrew of course thinks these are amazing because (a) they look like helicopter blades and (b) they turn the milk chocolatey which he can drink with a straw after he’s eaten the cereals. He sometimes has a bit of trouble remembering the shortened name though (he can say helicopter fine), so a few mornings he has asked for “hocters”.

I’ve mentioned several times before that Andrew (along with his brother) is very active. When he was tearing around the living room crazily the other day, Granny asked him: “Where so you get all your energy from? Can I have some?” His response was: “From a doctor!” Aha, now we know the secret – quick, let’s all go to this doctor for a boost! Of course it might also help that Andrew has access to secret Thunderbird powers. Like when he attaches two small mole cuddly toys to himself, holding them underneath his arms, and these become his super powerful engines that blast him like a rocket around the house. Yes, we’re still mad about Thunderbirds and rockets, no change there.

In fact he now thinks of himself as so clued up on Thunderbirds that he has the right to tell us off when we don’t get it right. One of Grandad’s favourite little sayings at the moment is ‘don’t get X wrong’, which apparently comes from Alan Partridge (who I believe said ‘don’t get Bond wrong’). Grandad uses it in the context of anything that is said wrongly – so he replaces X with whatever it might be. Of course Andrew, being the little sponge that he is, had soaked this one up without us knowing, that is until one evening this week when it became quite clear… The boys have a ‘routine’ for going up to bath, which (surprise, surprise) also includes Thunderbirds! Andrew pretends to be one of the Thunderbird rockets/vehicles and he assigns one to Joel too, then they each blast off upstairs in the manner of the chosen rocket. Except one evening Daddy got it mixed up, and called Joel Thunderbird 1 when he’d been assigned Thunderbird 3. Cue Andrew… “No! Don’t get Thunderbirds wrong!!” And it was said with intonation just like Grandad/Alan. We all creased up with laughter 🙂

And finally for this week, we have a lovely piece of art work from the budding young artist Andrew. After dinner one day he got down from the table whilst Joel was just finishing off his food. We could see that he was drawing something on his easel with chalk. When he stepped away we could see the finished design – ta da! Then I asked what it was. His reply (in a very ‘well don’t you know?’ kind of tone: “a banana!” Of course, I can see it now, a banana, silly me! (?!?)

Banana

Wot So Funee?

Biting the hand that feeds you – wot so funee?

So far my wot so funee? posts have mainly featured Andrew, eldest brother of two. This week, a particular interaction between him and younger brother Joel made me laugh out loud, even though Andrew didn’t find it particularly funny. Like a nice and kind big brother, Andrew offered Joel a mini cheddar biscuit from his packet. That was cute. Then things got cuter when he even offered to put it into Joel’s mouth for him. However, the cuteness faded when Joel took a chunk out of not only the biscuit, but also Andrew’s finger! Talk about biting the hand that feeds you! Andrew looked at me, lip wobbling and said: “Joel bit me!” Luckily he didn’t actually cry, so it can’t have been that bad. But it was just the face that said it all – why?? If you stick your fingers in a 16 month old’s mouth, you won’t come out unscathed!

Moving on to a different kind of food – one you don’t have to bite: ice cream. We had this as a yummy treat for pudding the other day, and when asked which flavour he’d like out of vanilla or ginger (it was fancy stuff!), his reply was: “I’d like miller”. Once again Andrew demonstrating perfectly a phenomenon common to English-learning kids: picking up the stressed syllable (and the one after it) but not the preceding unstressed syllable – so he heard ‘nilla > miller.

Apart from ice cream, Andrew loves bananas. A taste he shares with Daddy but not me. He was eating one the other day, and Grandad thought he would be funny and call Andrew a monkey, joking at the fact that he was eating a banana. But this didn’t go down too well… “I’m not a monkey [sad face]….I’m a rocket!” See, it always has to come back to rockets. And there was us all thinking he was a boy.

I’m sure Andrew isn’t the only 3 year old who is easily pleased. There are several things in life that make him happy, and none of them or very expensive or complicated. For example, the other day when we were driving along, he randomly came out with: “Windy things make me happy!” After a little more probing, it turns out he was talking about windmills, probably the kind that we had on our balcony in bright colours. No idea where that came from!

Another thing that makes him happy is playing for endless hours in the garden – or the “ball garden” as he calls it (Granny and Grandad’s garden where we are currently living). One afternoon we were playing out there, and Andrew was waving a plastic golf club in the air. To try and encourage him to bring it down to a height that didn’t risk a disaster involving the club whacking Joel in the face, I took it off him and started to use it like a hockey stick to move a small ball along the grass…

Me: “Come on, let’s play hockey Andrew!”

Andrew: “No Mummy, don’t be silly, that’s not cocky, it’s golf!”

And to end on a similar note to where I began this post, we have another cute exchange between the brothers, overheard on the monitor one morning. Since the mornings have got lighter, we have reinstalled our lighting system – a cheaper version of a Gro-clock type thing, made from an ordinary lamp and a timer switch. When it’s off, it’s time to sleep, and when it comes on (at 7am), he is allowed to get up and go into Granny and Grandad’s room. But the thing is, there’s one rule for him, and one rule for little brother, who hasn’t understood the idea of the magic light and crescendos once he’s woken up until I go in and fish him out of their room. At about 6.30am I heard this: “No Joel, the light hasn’t come on yet, it’s not time to get up, we must sleep!” Nice try Andrew, I wish it was that easy to reason with your little brother.

Wot So Funee?

To the steering wheel shop – wot so funee?

In the past couple of weeks, Andrew has well and truly given up his afternoon nap. It wasn’t’ bad going at all to be still napping beyond his 3rd birthday, so I can’t complain, but it does mean that he is around in the afternoon. He is actually very happy to just play on his own for a while, and seems to like the time without Joel (who has at least some nap in the afternoon) to play with the toys that Joel isn’t allowed. However, it does mean he can also get into more mischief now that he’s roaming around downstairs rather than enclosed in his bedroom.

One afternoon last week, I suddenly became aware that I could hear some noises coming from the kitchen. Just as I was about to get up from the sofa and investigate, Andrew came in to the living room and said… “Look Mummy, I made myself some squash!” Wot so funee about that, you may ask? Well, I was sceptical that he’d managed to do that all on his own, so I asked to have a look. As I thought, he had poured neat squash into one of his drinks bottles and was drinking it undiluted from a straw. So I gently brought him back to the kitchen, where I saw the scene of devastation that was half a bottle of squash spilled all over the work surface and a pack of straws strewn across the floor. I had to admire his independence and determination to do it himself, but it took me a while to clear up!

Andrew is becoming very keen on pretend play, for example with the toy kitchen and making us cups of tea and cake, and also acting out role plays. I saw him sitting on the floor with arms out in front of him, brumming like a car. He caught my eye and the following conversation started…

A: “I’m in my car Mummy”

Me: “Ah I can see, where are you going Andrew?”

A: “To the steering wheel shop to buy a steering wheel”

Me: “Of course! That’s obviously what you buy from a steering wheel shop!”

I did wonder how he was driving the car in the first place, but I didn’t like to go down that route.

I’m used to being handed random blocks or bricks and having to play along with the fact that they are really cakes/biscuits/something else edible. Except I did this automatically the other day, and started to pretend I was eating a block of Duplo, thinking I was supposed to be treating it like a cake. But then I got told off…

A: “No it’s not an eaty marble, it’s a rolly marble!”

Me: “I can’t see any marbles Andrew?!”

A: “It’s a marble holder that, I just said, not a cake!”

Me: “Ah sorry I must have missed that!”

Now that we’re living with Granny and Grandad temporarily, they too have been experiencing quite a few funee moments first hand, and relaying them to me. Here’s a good one from the other morning when they were watching Cbeebies together and a cow called Buttercup came on screen…

Granny: “Buttercup – that’s a classic name for a cow.”

A: “I do like plastic names!”

I wrote a few weeks ago about Andrew using nouns that he knows as verbs – for example, to fork something (get it on his fork). This week he was playing in the garden with a ball, and came out with “I want to tennis it!” We presume he meant he wanted to serve it off the bat, or maybe just throw it.

And finally for this week, here’s another example of Andrew deliberately changing the words of a song for effect. He loves singing, and knows the words to quite a few songs (in French and German as well as English), but every now and then he likes to make his own words up to a song that I know he knows the real words to. This week we had: “All do the hocus pocus!” And I know full well that he’s known the words to the Hokey Cokey for a long time, since he sang it most weeks at the music group he and Daddy went to in Cambridge on Tuesday mornings.

Wot So Funee?

Heaven’s level crossing – wot so funee?

Recently Andrew has been getting more into drawing. He still won’t do it for very long at a time, but he will generally give it a go, mood permitting. And this week we have our very first funee on paper (as opposed to in speech), which is actually where the idea of the wot so funee linky started over at Actually Mummy’s blog. As usual, Andrew went out to his group at children’s church on Sunday, and came back with a picture that he had drawn and stuck, obviously with the help of the leaders. They had been talking about what Heaven will be like, and what will be there, and they made pictures on this theme. You can see Andrew’s here: smiley face, guitars, music, trees, hearts, flowers, rainbow, animals… and a purple splodge. When I asked him why this splodge was, he replied: “a level crossing”! You see in Andrew’s world, level crossings are amazing, so clearly if Heaven is amazing, it must contain level crossings. Good bit of toddler logic there. 

Heaven picture

Other than this, we’ve had the usual kind of funees too over the past 2 weeks (we had a break for Pancake Day last week and I wrote about our jar of change instead). After the plain pants incident a little while ago, I thought Andrew might be cottoning on to the meaning of ‘plain’ spelled like that. But not quite yet it seems. As we were walking into town last week, we saw some blue flashing lights and heard a siren coming towards us on the road. When it got nearer, I realised that it was an unmarked police car, and said “Look it’s a plain police car Andrew!” His response was classic: “Ahhhh, it’s going to the airport then!” Of course it is!

In many ways Andrew is like me, we share several personality traits. I find it hilarious when he says something that I have clearly said to him before, and it makes him seem even more like me. When I was shoving the ingredients for kedgeree in the slow cooker the other day, which isn’t a hard meal to prepare, he asked what I was doing, and when I gave my answer, his response was: “Wow, that’s impressive!” If you think so Andrew, that’s great, but I really don’t think it’s that hard. I know I often remark that something is impressive, and often with a sense of irony, so I presume he’s just following in my footsteps here. Another example from the bath the other day… he was getting annoyed that his toys kept slipping of the ledge that he was trying to rest them on at the side: “No, NO! I’ve told you several times, don’t fall off!!” I know I’ve said that to him, after he’s failed to listen to me despite several repetitions of whatever it was I was asking.

But I shouldn’t worry. I may get annoyed at his selective hearing, but he still thinks highly of me: “I like you Mummy…. you’re like Mummy Pig!” Thanks Andrew, I think I should take that as a compliment given how much you like Peppa and family, but being likened to a pig isn’t really what I strive for.

CrumpetAnd to finish with, we have a couple of cases of Andrew getting just one sound wrong in a word and it making for comedy moments. Last week we found some crumpets in the freezer, and ate some toasted for lunch. The next day when I asked what he’d like for lunch, he replied: “Crispy trumpets! I love crispy trumpets, they’re my favourite!”

When playing with his Tracy Island toy, of course one or more of the Thunderbirds always saves the day and rescues people in distress. One day this week Andrew told us that the rescued people were now “safe and sand”. Almost, but not quite.

Wot So Funee?

Milking it with milkshake – wot so funee?

It’s started: Andrew now knows exactly how to cause us embarrassment when out and about by people watching and saying what he sees. He has the observational and vocabulary skills to speak his mind, but lacks the social skills to know what is acceptable. So on our day trip to Birmingham this week, we had a few close encounters with the general public. First of all on the train, there was the person asleep by the window as Andrew went and sat on Granny’s lap on the neighbouring aisle seat: “That one’s asleep!”. Not anymore if you shout that at them. Then there was the girl eating her lunch across the aisle: “That girl’s got a sandwich!” Luckily this passenger thought his observation was rather cute and laughed it off. And then there was the man with the Mohican hair in the Birmingham Museum and Art Gallery tea room: “That’s funny hair!” Well that’s what we were all thinking but only a toddler would air his views with such volume and openness.

One of the best bits about going to Birmingham (from Coventry) on the train, if you’re a plane-mad 3 year old that is, is the view of the airport runway and terminals on the way. On the way there, he spotted that big tower that controls the air traffic and exclaimed excitedly: “Look, it’s the remote control tower!” I find this interesting linguistically – he’s obviously heard us say remote control as well as just control for the thing you zap channels with on the TV, and I presume he’s also applied this to the tower that he’s heard us call the control tower. On the way back from our day trip, I spotted the airport first (go me!)…

Me: Look Andrew, there’s a plane over there, at the airport.

Andrew: Ooooh, it might be Fireflash! 

Yet another Thunderbirds reference, this is our world at the moment.

In last week’s wot so funee? post, I shared lots of foodie funees. This week there were fewer, and here’s the first and probably funniest… To set the scene, we were having a bit of rough and tumble play, which usually involves me getting down on the floor and getting sat/trampled on by the boys. At one point I stuck my leg out and Andrew sat on it like he does with Daddy or male grandparents sometimes, expecting me to lift him up and down as if he were riding a horse. I can’t actually manage that these days with his weight, but he accepted a compromise – me chanting the rhyme ‘ride a cock horse’ instead. So I recited the rhyme all the way up to the last line, and thought I’d pause to see if Andrew could say the key word. Here’s how it turned out…

Me: …with rings on her fingers and bells on her toes, she shall have……

Andrew: PASTA!

Me: [giggling] erm, I don’t think she will have pasta, can you remember the word that comes here in the rhyme?… she shall have……

Andrew: PIZZA!

Me: [laughing] I don’t think it’s any kind of food actually

Andrew: err raisins?

Me: Still food

Andrew: errr….curry?

Me: nevermind. It’s MUSIC, she shall have MUSIC wherever she goes!

Andrew: Aaaahhh

We’ve all had various symptoms of a cold this past week or so, including a sore, froggy throat for Andrew. He’s generally not one to let a bit of illness get him down, but one afternoon after his nap he was very groggy. So Granny suggested that he might like a special chocolate milkshake to help his poorly throat, which of course he downed in no time. But then he caught on, and even when he was clearly feeling better, he tried to milk it (pun intended) and get more chocolatey drinks by pulling a sad face and insisting that he was poorly. This came to a head one evening just after bath, which is always supervised by Daddy.

Andrew: Can I have a milkshake please Daddy? I’m poorly [sad face :(]

Daddy: I’m not sure that you’re really that poorly anymore Andrew. Shall we ask Mummy to see if she thinks it’s a good idea.

Andrew: OK!….[walks to top of stairs and shouts down to the kitchen]….Mummy! Can I have a milkshake please?….[walks back to bathroom]….Mummy says I can have a milkshake!

Daddy: Really?!

Andrew: Yes!

What Andrew failed to realise is that Daddy knew I was in our bedroom feeding Joel. Got to give him points for being clever enough to try and play us off against each other like that. But it didn’t win him any milkshakes this time.

For a just turned 3 year old, Andrew is quite adept at letters of the alphabet, and enjoys reading letters on anything and breaking down words into sounds. He’ll quite often come out with the phrase ‘A for Apple’ or whatever it is that he’s referring to – “B for Ball”, “J for Jumper”, “M for Mummy”….even “CH for cheese” (recognising that ‘ch’ is a sound that’s made up of 2 letters) and the classic “T for ‘tato”. Had to laugh at that one, but I know it’s normal – he’s picking up the stressed syllable as that’s what most English words start with, just a shame that potato doesn’t.

In a previous wot so funee post I described how Andrew likes to make up adjectives to stick on the end of the phrase ‘it’s a bit…’. This week’s offerings on this front include the following. When referring to Daddy’s new coat that we bought him one day as a belated birthday present (he said he wanted to think about exactly what type he wanted for his new job and commute), Andrew said: “It’s a bit coaty….and it’s a bit cosy!” That’s very true. When referring to a mini table football ball with the classic hexagon pattern, Andrew said: “It’s got blacky bits and whitey bits.” Or you could just say it’s got black bits and white bits, could you not?

To end with, I have something that’s rather cute as well as funny. One of his latest phrases, as I wrote last week, is “I like you, Mummy/Daddy/Grandad/Granny etc.” This week he came out with a beautiful one: “I like you Joel, you’re my best friend!” Awwww 🙂

Wot So Funee?

Wot so funee?: guest blogging

If you’re looking for this week’s round up of comic toddlerisms, you’re in the wrong place! But don’t worry, you can find it over on Actually Mummy’s blog – the home of the Wot so funee? linky. We received a kind invitation to write a guest post for them this week, and as there has been the usual abundance of toddler comedy chez nous, I was happy to take up the offer. So take a look over there to get your fix of funees. See you back here soon!

Three soft plays – wot so funee?

With the Christmas holidays and moving house, writing about hilarious toddlerisms has slipped to the back of my mind. That’s not to say that Andrew hasn’t been coming up with them – if anything they come thicker and faster every day. Here’s a selection of the ones I remembered to write down…

For about a week before Christmas, Andrew got very into watching the film Snow Buddies. If you haven’t had the pleasure of viewing this, it’s a typical kids film – totally unbelievable and twee but quite cute and teaches a good ‘moral of the story’. At one point some puppies in a freight container fall out of an aeroplane and a parachute opens up to ensure they land safely. I know, I told you it was unbelievable! Andrew got very excited about this and jumped up and down shouting “Look, there’s a tent on that box, a bit like a hot air balloon, that’s funny..hahaha!” I can see his logic, it did look tent-ish, probably more like a tent than a parachute! The props department may well gave been on a tight budget.

Recently he’s become interested in what we’re going to eat for our next meal. I usually have some idea, even if I make up the exact dish as I go along when it comes to cooking. One evening, I was planning a cottage pie (well actually a poultryman’s pie as I use turkey mince), so I told him that when the inevitable question arose.

A: What we gunna have for tea?

Me: cottage pie

A: sausage pie?

Me: no, cottage pie

A: pottage pie?… is that like shepherd’s pie?

Me: no, COTTage pie, but it is like shepherds pie, that’s right!

A: ah…. like a house?

Me: yes, I see the link in your mind!

Our old flat wasn’t exactly well endowed with internet connectivity. It’s a long story, but even Virgin wouldn’t dig up our road, despite being in the middle of built-up Cambridge. We call it ‘narrowband’, you get the point. So often when watching youtube, particularly in the evening before tea, the connection would fail and we’d get lots of stop starting (or just stopping most of the time). I would explain to Andrew that our internet wasn’t working and we’d have to try again later or watch a DVD, which I knew would be a much more pleasurable viewing experience. One day, however, when he was watching a DVD, the picture started to jump, probably due to grubby fingerprints on the disc (can’t think how they got there!) So he exclaimed: “our internets are not working!”, to which my response was to try and explain that he was in fact watching a DVD. A quick wipe of the disc and all was right again – Andrew’s reaction: “Yay, our internets are working!” This isn’t the only example in his speech which shows that he thinks “internets” is a plural. I find this interesting; it’s like he’s heard “internet’s” a lot (as in “our internet’s not working” or “our internet’s gone wrong”), and reasoned that this ’s’ on the end means it’s a plural. That’s all I can think of right now at least.

Another (more fathomable) piece of toddler reasoning came in the form of his name for a pine wreath on a friend’s front door at Christmas: “Mummy look, it’s a Christmas circle!” Can’t argue with that – it looked like bits of Christmas tree made into a circle shape.

I love a bit of regional variation in language. My favourite example, having grown up in Coventry, is the bread roll – there are so many different words for this, depending on where you grew up, and only in Coventry is it a ‘batch’. Despite living here for a few weeks before our move to Birmingham (where the bread roll is a ‘cob’), I still haven’t heard Andrew say ‘batch’. But I wouldn’t be surprised if he does before we move, he’s like a linguistic sponge at the moment. Anyway, my point about Andrew here was his funny moment involving a fairy cake (as I would call it) or ‘bun’ as Daddy’s family, who live in Devon, call it. He was playing tea parties with Grandma, who asked if he’d like a bun with his cup of tea. His reply: “yes please, I’d like a bum with my cuppa tea!” Bit of a bum deal to get one of those with your tea time beverage if you ask me! To be fair though, I don’t think he’s heard them called ‘buns’ very often, at least not since he’s been able to talk back, as Daddy has accommodated to my word and we just call them (little or fairy) cakes.

On Christmas day, of course it was Andrew who liked playing with Joel’s new toy kitchen the most, and Joel who liked playing with Andrew’s new easel the most – this is one inevitable fact about similar aged siblings. Andrew’s attempt to coerce us into buying him one was thus:

“When I’m 8, I can have a rainbow…

When I’m 9, I can have a football…

When I’m 10, I can have a little cooker like Joel’s!”

If he’s willing to wait that long, I’m happy – he’ll no doubt go off the idea when he hits double figures. I too have no idea where the rainbow bit came from!

Soft play

And finally, one from the past week. We’ve found a fantastic soft play at a garden centre, and on Monday mornings parents/carers and toddlers can go for free as part of a scheme to help get them out of the house and meet others in the same situation. This was what I was talking with Granny about after she discovered it online, and as Andrew was there, we told him we would go to free soft play one day soon. Later, when I asked him what he wanted to do the next day, he requested: “I’d like to go to three soft plays” Wot so funee?

 

Wot So Funee?

Slow leopards and sunrise – wot so funee?

Well the official ‘wot so funee?’ linky is now closed for Christmas, but as we’ve already had quite a few funny moments in the past 2 weeks since it was last running, I thought I’d write one more post myself before Christmas.

First of all, Andrew was fascinated by the toy that Joel got from Father Christmas when we saw him on our train ride at Audley End. He asked what it was, and we told him – a snow leopard. Then later in the day he found the stuffed creature on the floor at home after Joel had discarded it temporarily. “It’s a sleper [pronounced as in leper], look!” I explained again that it was a snow leopard – a leopard that is white and grey instead of the more yellowy/browny colours of an ordinary leopard. He seemed to take it in. Until he picked it up again the next day and insisted that it was a “slow leopard”. I tried to explain that leopards are anything but slow, and I think he’s now got it.

Andrew is now very keen to tell people what they are or are doing, for example their age (if he knows it), whether they are a boy or girl, or if they are holding a ball/ cooking dinner/ driving down the road etc. This week Daddy and Joel have had some good descriptions…

“Joel, you’re a toggler, cos you’re number 1 now!” Ever since his birthday, Andrew keeps reminding us that Joel is 1 (or “number 1” to be precise), and I thought it was cute that he’s picked up on the fact that we call him a toddler now, not a baby.

“Daddy, you’re a pink dot!” This one needs a bit of explaining. Since Tom and I got cast off iPhones from family members who kindly gave them to us (we couldn’t afford them ourselves!), we’ve been able to see where the other one is using the ‘find my friends’ app. It may seem a little stalker-ish, but we only use it for family and it’s really handy to see where each other are, for example if we’re meeting up or if we’re delayed in getting home any time. The location of people in the app is marked by a pink dot, and Andrew has seen this as I have explained what I’m looking at when Daddy is a little late home and I want to see where he is.

Now that Joel is a toddler, toddling around is what he loves best. He’s generally good at walking, but he’s still a bit wobbly when it comes to obstacles and when he tries to run! So we get the inevitable bumps and knocks, which most of the time don’t bother him, until he’s tired and it’s the end of the world. Andrew is keen to point out when Joel has had a bump, and most often says “Joel hurt myself”. I find this interesting – he hasn’t quite got the hang of these reflexive pronouns. He knows that it’s right to say “I hurt myself” when it happens to him, but he hasn’t quite picked up on the difference between that and when Joel has hurt himself. Also interesting is that Andrew will say “Joel hurt myself” when he really means “Joel hurt me”, for example if Joel has accidentally thrown a toy at him or pulled his hair.

In my attempts to clear out the kitchen cupboards before we leave, I’ve been trying to use up all the food that we have, like tins, packets and frozen food. I found a bag of popping corn at the back of the cupboard which I’d forgotten I’d bought ages ago to make it up for snacks for us. So I made some every other day or so for a week or two and we took it out for snacks. When it was all gone, Andrew asked one evening whether we could make some more popcorn. I replied that there was none left, that we’d eaten it all. His reply was: “Oh…..well how about some sweetcorn?” I know he likes sweetcorn, but I wasn’t sure that he’d want to eat it on its own as a snack!

clay jar
God’s got one of these…. apparently!

In all the packing, I came across some vases that we haven’t had out for a while because they are a liability with two small children around, especially as they like to climb. Andrew was ‘helping’ me wrap some up in packing paper, and when he saw a blue pottery one, he declared that “God’s got one of these!” Looking at it again, and talking with Tom about it, we suggested between us that it could be because there is a picture of a jar like this in one of the stories in his Bible, or it might even be one that he’s read in his Sunday group at church. It’s amazing what kids can remember out of all the stuff they come across in daily life.

And finally, one day this week, as we were sitting having breakfast as as family like usual, we watched the sunrise to of the window. It was a lovely sunrise, with lots of beautiful colours. We had our own running commentary provided by Andrew:

“The clouds are all pink!…. That’s funny…. The white ones are all gone….There’s no white ones left like on Teletubbies…..Now it’s getting orangier…..Now it’s getting yellowier!…..That’s pretty”