Living with a toddler is like having our very own comedy show every day. The stuff he comes out with makes me laugh more than your average stand up comedian.
This week we start with a fruity mix up. When we were shopping for various items in the supermarket, we stopped in front of the squash because we needed to buy some. Andrew caught sight of the lemon squash, and asked if we could get the “white squash”. So I said “that’s lemon squash” and asked him if he was sure, and he was, even though he’s not had it before, and in it went to the basket. Later that day, Andrew asked me for a drink, so I asked him what he’d like to drink, to which his reply was “melon”. Slightly confused, I said that we didn’t have a melon in the fridge at the moment, but what would he like to drink. Back came an insistent “MELON”. So then I did the pointing game, and asked him to point to what he wanted. The penny dropped as he pointed at the LEMON squash! Melon, lemon – pretty similar really!
We’ve also had a couple of stating the obvious incidents which were worth a giggle. One evening he was insistent that he would like “ghetti” (spag-) for tea, and as the veg we had in the fridge seemed to suggest a pasta dish, I honoured his wish and cooked some spaghetti. When it was dished up in front of him, he looked at it with a pondering face and came out with: “it’s a bit long!” Erm, yes, that’s what spaghetti is Andrew! Another day we were putting his socks on before we went out; he lifted them up, looked at them, and said “they’re a bit socky!” Well yes, they’re socks, so I guess that does make them ‘socky’.
Now for a spot of singing. One evening, Tom was bathing the boys as usual and I was doing the washing up and clearing up the kitchen. Tom got Joel out first and was drying him and putting on his nappy on the change mat, when he became aware that Andrew was playing with a toy penguin and boat whilst singing. The tune was definitely ‘Rock a bye baby’, and the words started like this:
“Rock a bye penguin, in the boat,
When the water blows, the penguin will rock”
Tom says the next two lines were basically the same as the original rhyme, sung in Andrew pronunciation. He thought it was rather sweet, so called me in, but by the time I got there, the penguin lullaby was over and Andrew went all shy with an audience.
Apart from Andrew’s own cute and quirky speech, we’ve found ourselves saying some unusual and hilarious things to him – the kind of phrases that could only be said by a parent of a toddler. As Andrew was on his way to the bath one evening, he picked up a pair of bunny ears that were on the floor and put them on. Tom told him to take them off for the bath, because they’d only get wet and soggy. So Andrew picked up a toy tiara that was also on the floor (he has no aversion to wearing things that society would say are for girls only) and put it on. Again, Tom told him that it was no good for the bath, and found himself coming out with this: “Andrew, come on, no accessories are to be worn in the bath!” I couldn’t stop laughing at hearing that come out of his mouth 🙂
Potty training has gone well recently (we’ve been doing it in some shape or form for over a year, so it’s about time), and it’s finally clicked that he needs to do wees on the potty or toilet all the time, not just when he’s undistracted by something else. Just before dinner one day, he clearly knew that he needed to head to the potty, so he did, and just about made it before the flow started. The trouble was, it wasn’t quite pointing down well enough and it started to spray outwards, which he found funny. Unfortunately Joel wasn’t far away, and of course came nearer to explore the commotion, so Andrew decided it would be hilarious to keep the spray going rather than push it in (which he knows how to do because he does it most of the time) and shower Joel with wee. Nice! When Tom saw this and realised what was happening, he called across: “Andrew, you mustn’t wee on other people!” Now that’s something I never thought I’d hear my husband say! Cue a quick dunk in the bath for Joel before dinner that day.