Today the twins turned 2 years old! This means we’ve survived our second year of this crazy thing that is parenting 4 children. But not only that, their second birthday marks a significant milestone – I have now breastfed all 4 kids to (at least) the World Health Organisation’s recommendation of 2 years. Considering how dire I felt our breastfeeding journey was going at just 2 weeks old with our eldest child, this is definitely something I want to celebrate.
Breastfeeding is something I don’t see celebrated much in our society. The only place I really see celebrations of milestones, whether 2 days, 2 weeks, 2 months, 2 years or whatever, is breastfeeding support groups online, which are of course full of people who are/were breastfeeding. And I must admit I don’t often think of it as an achievement when we are going through the challenges of everyday life. But when I allow myself to stop and ponder, I’m really proud of myself and of how far we’ve come.
It can feel difficult to openly celebrate breastfeeding when you see that anything about breastfeeding in the media ends up turning in to a debate on breastfeeding versus formula feeding. So many mums join in saying they are being made to feel like failures because they didn’t have the right information and support to breastfeed or didn’t want to breastfeed. My view is that individual mums aren’t failing to breastfeed, they are *being failed* in a society that doesn’t value breastfeeding – but that’s a whole other topic!
It’s a hugely emotive subject, and I definitely shy away from getting involved, which means I don’t often talk about breastfeeding beyond circles that I’m comfortable with (like support groups online or in person). I wrote a fair amount on breastfeeding our kids as babies on this blog, mainly to raise awareness of specific issues and circumstances that aren’t that commonly written about – hypoplasia, true and chronic low supply, using a supplemental nursing system or SNS, breastfeeding in pregnancy, tandem breastfeeding a baby and a toddler, breastfeeding twins etc.
But I haven’t written much about the achievement that has resulted from perseverance through all of this – the achievement of breastfeeding until the boys self weaned at 4 years old and 2 and a half years old, the achievement of breastfeeding twins until at least 2 years old. I haven’t been motivated to, I didn’t want to sound like I’m blowing my own trumpet, partly through fear of offending anyone who hasn’t breastfed (or breastfed this long) for whatever reason.
However, recently I read a social media post about celebrating breastfeeding achievements that went viral. I’ll now paraphrase the gist of what I took from it. The author likened her breastfeeding journey to running a marathon. Many people train hard to run marathons – they put in lots of effort, dedicate their time and energy over several months, they build up with shorter runs and then celebrate these milestones as well as the final achievement of the marathon (online and in person). Now does anyone who doesn’t run a marathon for whatever reason get offended by this? Is it seen as an attack on anyone who can’t or doesn’t want to run a marathon? Does it mean everyone should run marathons? No, it’s simply someone choosing to aim for an achievement and smashing it.
For me, and many others, breastfeeding is my marathon! I persevered through so much, mainly due to my hypoplasia and the resulting physiological inability to produce enough of my own milk. But our youngest three children have been fed milk entirely at the breast, no bottles whatsoever (thanks SNS!), and the eldest only had a few. When I think of it like that, why shouldn’t I openly celebrate the hardest achievement of my life (after the PhD)? Just like I have friends who openly celebrate running marathons (I seem to know quite a few!)
The current plan is to let the twins self wean, like the boys did. They only usually feed once first thing in the morning and once before bedtime. I expect one of these will drop at some point and then the last one will gradually decline in frequency until one day I’ll look back and think it must be a few weeks since they last fed and I didn’t realise at the time that was actually the last feed. That’s how it happened before at least, I know it might not be the same, though this is often what people experience with self weaning in toddlerhood or beyond. Of course if I feel the need to stop sooner this plan may change, but for now it suits all three of us so I’m happy with that. I’ll stop blowing the trumpet now.
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