21 weeks – twin comments

This week has been fairly quiet, so I’ve had my head down concentrating on getting a fair amount of work done before we go away next week for half term.


My working hours are still quite reduced compared to what they were, due to the ongoing nausea. Before this pregnancy, I usually worked when Joel was at his 15 hours of free nursery (two mornings and one afternoon), and for an hour or so each evening whilst Tom did the bedtime routine with the boys, plus Saturday mornings. I can’t work in the afternoons and evenings still, because that’s when the nausea gets worse so I have to rest or risk vomiting. This week Tom’s mum has been staying with us, so she’s been looking after Joel, and I’ve had more time in the mornings to work when I’m feeling at my best. I’m very grateful for this! My income has been reduced these past few months, and although we don’t rely on it for our monthly budget, it’s nice to be able to contribute what I can for extras and savings. There’s no sick pay when you’re self employed, unlike when I had to have time off work in my previous pregnancies as an employee.

I thought I’d also write this week about the various comments that I’m finding people make once they know I’m expecting twins. It’s like being pregnant with twins means people think they can openly voice all their questions and opinions when talking to you. Or maybe they just don’t think, and open their mouths to say exactly what’s on their mind. It’s not everyone by any means, but often people I barely know or complete strangers.

There have been plenty of comments along the lines of “wow that’ll be hard work” or “oh you’ll have your hands full then”. Well actually I’m planning on using slings as much as possible, like I did when I had two singletons under 2 years old, so I don’t plan on literally having my hands full all the time. But yes, life will be busy for us, I have no doubt about that. We didn’t plan twins, but we are happy to have been given this blessing, and grateful that we have a good support network of family and friends in place. Comments about how hard it will be aren’t very helpful. They focus on the negatives, rather than on the positives of how rewarding and special it is to experience parenting twins. I’m told by other twin parents that comments like this are pretty common, in pregnancy, the baby and toddler years, and beyond.

Some comments have been related to the babies’ sex, which, as I explained last week, we won’t be finding out until birth. Since we already have two boys, some people have expressed concern over us having two more boys. I think the “best” (read: made me most speechless) comment so far has been “what will you do if they’re both boys?” I didn’t quite know what to say to that! In my head I felt like saying “well what would you suggest? Send them back?! Chop their willies off and pretend they’re girls?!” I mean seriously what is that supposed to mean?! I have no issue with four boys, or three boys and a girl or two of each for that matter. As long as they are healthy, I will be happy, and I won’t need to “do” anything if they’re both boys .

A few people have ventured as far as asking me if they are “natural” or IVF babies. Whilst I’ve been very open on the blog about how we got here, conceiving them fairly quickly after a miscarriage, this has all been shared on my terms in as much detail as I am comfortable with. I find it really rude to be asked  this straight out by people I hardly/don’t know. The question is basically enquiring about two things – whether we have enough money to afford IVF treatment (since we already have children, it wouldn’t be free on the NHS), and/or what Tom and I get up to in private. Both of these are sensitive information, but somehow when it comes to twins, some people find it acceptable to ask about them!

Anyway, I’m sure I’ll get used to these comments, it sounds like I’ll have to. This little graphic I saw online this week made me laugh, there are some great come backs here to the question “are they twins?” that I’ll have to remember.


On a more positive note, I won a set of cloth nappies this week in a giveaway on Facebook! I’m so excited by this, mainly because I never win anything. I sorted out our cloth nappy stash a couple of weeks ago, and whilst most of it is still functional, lots of them are looking a little tired after having been used on two or more kids, so it will be lovely for the twins to have some brand new nappies amongst all the hand-me-downs. I’m sure we will get comments about how on earth is it possible to cloth nappy twins?! I’m not daunted by this – we’ve done 9 months of two kids in full time cloth nappies before, and another year of one full time plus one night time, and that was in a tiny flat with limited drying space. I certainly don’t want two babies worth of disposables filling up our bins and going to landfill, or spending a fortune on disposables for two!

These are the “Real Easy” all in one nappies that I won. Such cute prints!

Next week we are off for a relaxing break with family, so I may or may not write next week, depending on whether there’s anything pregnancy related to report.

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